I went indoors to make my bed up, and wiped the kitchen down and swept the floor. I put all the dishes back careful so they could get found easy, and made sure we got food in the pantry. I checked on Joseph. He was sleeping in the master bedroom. His skin was pale and hot.

Joe, I said.

He opened one eye. Sophie, he whispered.

I got to tell you something, I said. So listen close.

He nodded, just a little. It was already warm weather but he was bundled in a blanket anyhow.

I ain’t going to see you for awhile, I said.

Joseph didn’t answer but I knew he was listening. I said, There’s food for you and I’ll make sure Missus Moriarty comes and checks on you, and I’ll send the doctor over this week. I’ll set you up with some books and bullets for your rifle. I sat on the edge of the bed, near his knees. I patted the blanket. There’s ten dollars and fifteen cents in the sugar jar, I told him. It’s all yours. Crops is yours. Farm is yours.

I’ll keep it for you, he said.

No, I said. It’s yours. Michael has got set up in the city now, and I’d reckon you can take his plot cheap too, if you got a mind to. Maybe set Percy and his wife up.

Joseph coughed. He rubbed at his chest. Then he looked deep into my eyes and said, You going off with him, then?

I love you, Joe, I said. That’s all you got to know.

Joseph kept on staring at me. He was all watery like he might cry but he didn’t. Sophie, he said finally. You remember when we was fresh on the trail? Back when we was in Missouri?

I had to mull it. Being on that trail seemed like a story I had heard a long time ago but couldn’t put together easy. Then I said, We camped off some cliffs, didn’t we?

Joseph said, First week out. And we went swimming at sunrise.

I nodded. That’s right. We raced down to the water. You licked me, too. I recalled him as hardly out of boyhood, all tow blonde hair and gangly legs. You always did, I said. You were mighty fast.

I was, Joseph said. He sighed low, and leaned back against his pillow. I could see he was thinking bout the past. Thinking bout running. Prettiest day, he said soft, and the whole world was green so it hurt your eyes. And that lake was so blue. And you were brown as the dirt.

I nodded again. Margaux made me walk alongside the horses for two whole days for breaking her hair clip, I said. I was all burnt up.

Joseph smiled. You complained for a week. But you swum anyhow. Felt like we could of swum forever.

We was young, I said. Our bodies didn’t know how to tire.

I think of that day, he said. Often times. When he began to cough, I knelt down beside him and patted his head. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out, letting me pet him even after he calmed his lungs. Seemed it was only us in the world that moment, me and my baby brother. I felt his heartbeat come through by his skull as clear as I did in most fellow’s chests. We was wild things, he said, wasn’t we. His voice cracked.

I said, Maybe.

His fingers came up to my wrist, and he held my hand a spell. Then he said, I’m tired, Sophie.

I know, I said, soft. Go on and rest. Someone will be along.

I let go and got to my feet, settling my holster on my hips. Joseph looked up at me. His eyes could hardly keep open. Give Percy my joy on his wedding, I said.

Joseph said, Keep yourself safe.

I felt my throat tighten up. Yep, I said, and that was it. He was already fast asleep. I let him get his rest, and left some coffee on his endtable.

-

I spent the afternoon in town going to the bank and getting my money. It weren’t nothing to it. I expected them to give me guff bout the account, but the woman just led me back to the vault and put my money in a big leather satchel and passed it on. I smelt like coin when I left.

Next I figured I needed horses before I could get us guns and bullets and food, so I went around looking for a trader. There was two stables, but they was only selling brown quarter horses. Aubrey had said once he was tired of quarter horses as half the goddamned country got one and he couldn’t figure his horse from the next when they was all tied up in front of the saloon and he was in liquor. So I asked round till I found a fellow selling Appaloosas outside town limits.

At first I thought Aubrey might take as much offense at a Appaloosa as a quarter horse, but those creatures didn’t look a thing like his mangy unbroke steed. They were white coated with colored spots and legs, like speckled cats. I watched them prance and whinny round for a few minutes. How much? I asked the man, and he said three hundred forty apiece. I Dad, I said. They worth that?

These are Nez Perce mounts, the man said. Finest rides in the known land.

What’s Nez Perce?

The People, he said. He tapped his chest. Niimiipu Indian. I’m half Niimiipu myself.

I got excited, buying horses from a real Injun. He was lighter than me but soon as he said it, I could tell he got those wide flat cheeks. You keep them barefoot? I asked, and the man said, Always. You got a mind to ride one?

They ain’t saddled, I said.

We don’t saddle them either, the man said. He smiled at me and put his hand out. I figured a Cherokee would know, he added. We shook. I ain’t Cherokee, I said. I’m American. My name’s Sophie.

My name is Chuslum, he said. And I would bet a horse on your Cherokee lines.

I would take your bet but I ain’t got time to prove myself, I said, real friendly. I was borned back in Iowa, half of set of twins.

No, Chuslum said. His eyes were kind when he let go of my hand. You came in the world alone, he said.

I didn’t know what to say to that, but I guess Chuslum had his mind made up. I remembered how Bodaway said I was a Cherokee too, and how Sik’em acted when he seen me, like I was another Injun. It was still heavy on my mind while I followed Chuslum to the horses. She’s Indian broke, Chuslum told me when I picked a red spotted mare. Mount right.

The Appaloosas was so mild that I figured they ain’t got any real spirit to them, since that mare nuzzled right up to me when I came up and let me mount easy. I ain’t used to riding without a saddle. It took me a spell to get used to. But after I did a few trots around the clearing, I got my Appaloosa into a gallop. She broke out, and we raced round the fence. I held fast to her reins, and when I gave her a bump and a whoa, she stopped without complaint. Fine as cream gravy, I told Chuslum, pleased. You got your price.

Her name’s Hemene, he said. Her brother Heinmot’s grazing yonder.

Hemene was named for a wolf, he told me while we did payment, on account of her red coloring, and Heinmot was called thunder on account of his black speckling. I was taken with them horses. Chuslum said he got another man who would help me bring my new rides back, so me and the other fellow, who looked more Injun than Chuslum hisself, helped me direct my horses to town. I set up in the inn for the night and stabled the Appaloosas in the livery. Then I paid the other man for his help. I only come into that thirty eight thousand dollars this morning and already I’m seven hundred out.

I had to spend another hundred buying supplies, including two fine rifles and two Dragoons, which is even better than my Walker. I wasted a whole half hour playing with the chamber.

-

It is near suppertime and a crowd has gathered itself outside the butchery. At first I thought it was the marshals and judges that had finally come, but then realized it was common folk. Men and women had gotten into groups and they was talking and laughing up a storm.

I wandered round till I found the friendly lawman that I’d spoke to before. What’s this? I asked.

Gad-danged reporters and looksees, the man said. He was with a group of other marshals by the brewery, fixing themselves a drink. He poured some whiskey and pointed to all the nearby heads. They came in from Chicago, he said.

Where’s that?

Out in Illinois, the man answered. One newspaper got ear that we cornered Aubrey Grange, and we been having a stream of visitors since.

They here for the hanging? I asked. I was impressed.

They sure are. Some’s fans, some’s foes.

I Dad. It’s a mayhay.

It is indeed, the man said. He took a drink. That a Dragoon you got yourself?

I held it up. Came into some money this morning.

I’ll say. How’s it fire?

I’m waiting to set it off on a special occasion, I said.

Always test your wares, the man answered. You can’t wait for a spoil, that’s what I think. He eyed the gun more, then my face. You feel like taking in some cushie with me?

I laughed. What? I said.

It’s about my break time, he said, and I’ve been hankering for cornmeal.

Where they serve cush around here? I asked, and he said, Mama John’s. I only been in town three weeks, and I’ve ate at Mama John’s the first night and every night since. The man smiled. So? he said. What do you say?

I got other things to get to, I said.

I’d appreciate the company, he said. I’ve been sore for it since I left home.

I looked him over. I didn’t give much thought to him first time we met, because there weren’t much to comment on. He looked bigger than he was, because his shoulders was broad and he slumped them when he walked, but his face was open and friendly and he got a nice smile. His hair was all fluffed up like a boy, though he got years on me. I don’t know, I said.

You aren’t hungry? he said. You must be. I saw you bringing those horses around.

Riding don’t take much from me.

But you’ve had a busy day, he said.

None too, I said.

You have, he answered. First the bank, then those guns and horses. He smiled bigger, teeth gleaming. You been on a mission, he said.

A long minute went by. I took my hat off, then smoothed the rim and set it back on. I don’t want to eat cush with you, I said.

An introduction might be in order, he said.

I got things to get to.

He put his hand out. Cyrus, he said.

Cyrus, I said, there’s being friendly and there’s being pushy, and you can’t find the line.

You can call me Cy, he said. He got closer. Here, he said, his voice lower. I got a card made up. He opened up his coat and I saw a flat sheet of paper come out. When he passed it over, it read C LEVI with two gun prints underneath.

I clucked my tongue. I swow. How you related?

Half-brothers, Cyrus said. And I do have a mighty hunger. You’ll oblige me now?

I can spare a half hour, I said.

We went to Mama John’s, which was the only eating place in town that served Negros well as white folks, even though they had a different table in the back for them. They got a black cook, too. Cyrus ordered himself cushie, and I got biscuits and gravy. We split turkey legs. Cyrus ate the meat first, then asked if I was Sophie Wilde. I reckon, I said. He still made me nervy. Having the same name as a friend ain’t having the same cause, I learnt that much.

I figured, Cyrus said. First time you came out. Felix said you wore men’s clothes.

Felix speaks about me?

A few times, he said.

I didn’t know you was close, I said. Being on other sides of the law.

We ain’t so far off, Cyrus said. I don’t like decent folks losing money or lives. Indecent folks, he said, then he just frowned and waved his fork. I couldn’t care if the lot of them ate each other, he said, God’s truth.

You glad to have Aubrey hung? I asked.

Glad ain’t the word, he said. But I doubt I’ll see the chance, anyhow.

I leant back in my chair. My Dragoon knocked up against my thigh. Why’s that?

I’m not privy to those things, Cyrus said. He smiled at me again. That fellow looked as harmless as his family. I reckon you know more than me.

You assume a lot, I said.

Maybe, he agreed. He pushed the biscuits toward me, and I took one out. Anyhow, he said, I do expect good things of Sheriff Kidd.

I scoffed. He got twenty bullets to put Aubrey down. This roping won’t go any better.

You got a mouth.

I do, I said.

It gets you in trouble much?

It does, I said.

Cyrus laughed. Run your thoughts to some of them reporters, he said, you might get yourself a byline.

I laughed, too. How’s Felix? I asked.

Real well, Cyrus said, dipping a square of his cush into the gravy. He got himself that son, Augustus. He’s happy. Cryus chewed. I expected to see him here, though, he said. Felix was close with that outlaw.

Maybe he already said his goodbyes.

Cyrus nodded once. We finished up our meal in quiet, then went outdoors. Cyrus smoked, tiny handrolled cigarettes. They smelled sweet like dried tobacco. I ought to get back on the job, he said to me.

Thanks for the grub, I said.

If you got to say some goodbyes, Cyrus said, you can give me a letter and I’ll get it to Grange before his lynching.

I didn’t know if I could trust that man as far as the next block. That big open face was hard to read. Thanks, I said, but he knows what I got to tell him.

Enjoy that Dragoon, Cyrus said.

They’re being sold off a ship in the east docks, I said. Red bow, ask to go below deck.

Obliged, Cyrus said.

When are you moving Aubrey? I asked.

I can’t tell, he said. I ain’t allowed.

I shrugged, but Cyrus walked a few feet, then turned around. Sophie, he said. When I looked over, he said, I heard you’re a hell of a shot.

Yes, I said. I am.

He stared at me. It felt real nice, the way he was looking. I spent most of my life being gaped at as a woman that was either good for laying and breeding, or just plumb crazy, but Cyrus was looking at me now like I was a equal. I could tell he was considering me like he would any other fellow. Then he said, Well, I’m a bit poor myself. I know I wouldn’t hit what I was aiming at. Specially in a big fray. He kicked at the ground. Easy to miss shots, he said.

I’ll keep that in mind, I said.

Do, he said. If you missed shots too, I wouldn’t think any less of you.

I don’t know what you must think of me anyhow.

Truth be told, I’m a bit wonderstruck, he said. I heard stories. Cyrus paused. You’re smaller than I expected, he said. Then he smiled and flushed, and went back to his men. I can’t tell if I am happified folks is talking about me or sad he thinks I am small.

-

It is eighty thirty and one of the lawmen decided he would go up hisself to get Aubrey out. I heard them boasting bout it in loud words for awhile, but I was cleaning our rifles out for the morning and didn’t bother watching. I didn’t even go to the window till one of the fellows hollered, What we waiting for! I’ll collar him myself! The other lawmen hooted and cheered. I finally got up and looked out to see what was happening. I had picked the inn since it faced the butchery, and got a clear view of everything.

The lawman was one of the young ones, soused on gin from his last break. Joseph and Mary! he shouted, I’m coming for you, Grange! He pushed through to the butchery and stomped up the back stairs. The whole town had come out into the street, and they grew hushed to listen. There was loud knocking inside, and the lawman started yelling for Aubrey to surrender or meet his end. Then there was another quiet, and a creak, and a thud. Then a scream came out so loud and sudden it made me jump. The screaming kept on for a full minute, high pitched and terror-struck, and then it stopped quick as it begun. My heart was pounding. Aubrey’s shutters opened up and a body came flying out of his room, hitting the front roof and sliding to the earth. It took me minute to realize it was just the body that had come. The shutters opened up a second time and the lawman’s head came rolling down after it.

It was pure deviltry and the cruelest thing I’d seen in some time, but it cleared those womenfolk out right away. Even some of the men reporters had to excuse themselves to their quarters.

-

It is midnight and I am still awake. I read the Bible but it didn’t help. I wrote some letters to Missus Moriarty and Michael, and I will leave them at the post for them to collect after I am gone.

-

I cut my hair to my chin. It is three in the morning and I am restless. It don’t look very good.

I sewed double holsters into my vest too, which is an improvement.

-

It is four now and I just saw the blamedest thing from my window. Margaux is in the streets! She was so dark in her grieving gown I couldn’t fix on her for a minute, but then I saw her stop by where Kidd was resting and I knew her golden curly hair. He got to his feet as soon as he saw her. She told him something in a whisper, and he put his hat on. Then they both hurried over to the alley behind the barber shop and didn’t come out for fifteen minutes. When I saw them again, I couldn’t make out their faces but I knew she was laughing by her body. He put his hand on her shoulder. Then they split up and he went back to his post.

That sister of mine. I wish I got time to throw off on her. She is a horseshit widow.

-

I didn’t sleep a wink and was up at six thirty watching the sun come over the horizon. Our guns was loaded up, and I saddled the horses anyhow, even though Chuslum said they wasn’t used to it. I couldn’t carry all our goods on my back. Hemene bucked at first but I put my face by hers to get our breathing even. She is a fine beast and calmed quick.

I brung Heinmot around to the front of the butchery to wait. A few reporters had stayed through the night. One was talking to Cyrus and Sheriff Kidd. Their heads all bowed together, and Cyrus nodded. Then the sheriff walked over to where the body had fallen down during the night, which left a big blood spot in the dust. Kidd shook his head like he was disgusted, but over Aubrey or that scrub lawman, I ain’t sure which.

Kidd! I shouted at him.

The sheriff looked up. I haven’t had the pleasure, he said. His voice was smooth as glass.

Oh, you had the pleasure, I said. It just ain’t with me.

One of the men near him laughed, but Sheriff Kidd gave him a sharp look and he quieted. You take issue with me, he said. He took a step in my direction. I understand. The city wasn’t eager for new law. He walked all tottlish like he had when we watched him first day, but his voice and eyes was firm. Those ain’t shook a bit.

I opened up my coat. My pistols was heavy against my ribs. Sheriff Kidd glanced at the guns, then back at my face. You’re welcome to take a seat by the reporters, he said. We’re about to have this longrider out.

You ain’t prepared, I said. There ain’t enough men.

We can’t wait any longer, Kidd said.

I shook my head. You ain’t prepared.

Kidd said, I suppose we’ll see. Your advice is appreciated. A reporter had come over and was trying to write down what we was saying to each other, and Kidd nodded for another lawmen to take him away. He added, Perhaps you’ll sleep better at night once this is over. I know I’ll be afforded some rest. Then he dipped his hat, and took his guns out.

I was waiting in the street, red with flusteration and tetchy with nerves, and I seen people I knew gathering by the general store. Michael was there, and Missus Moriarty. They had the children with them. The youngest was still in sleepers and drowsing on Missus Moriarty’s shoulder, but the other three was eating honey sticks, bright eyed, waiting and listening to Michael say what was happening. Theodore had come over to watch, too. He said something to Missus Moriarty, but then moved on to a lone woman with a purple feather in her hat. Everyone was talking real friendly. Peter and Greeves was there, and Greeves got a eyepatch but looked hale besides, and Peter was telling him some kind of story that must of been real important, because they were both staring at each other and nodding hard. I even saw Pop, Harris and Beulah out. They was closer to the church. It was about a hundred feet away. Harris had on a outfit like a pastor. I wondered if he had got it on account of being church eulogist. It was a black suit with a white collar, and he wore it handsome. His skin was the color of coffee. Harris waved in my direction. Pop didn’t do nothing. I guess he ain’t seen me.

The sun went up in the sky and spread across Oregon City, and I felt it cover my body in heat. Waves rose from the street. People begun to fan themselves. The lawmen was getting short-tempered. Finally, Kidd made a hand gesture for all the lawmen to go up, and just when they was getting their rifles primed, the butcher came rushing out into the road. He looked panicked. At first it just sounded like blubbered shouting, but Kidd went over and said, Go on, what? and I heard the butcher saying, Dead, dead, over and over. A sick feeling welled up in my stomach.

Everything seemed like it was going slow and sped up at once. I was hardly in control of myself, seemed like. It ain’t till now that I really figured what was happening. I ran up to the butcher, and I said, Who’s dead? and he was howling, The outlaw! He’s stone cold dead! and Sheriff Kidd said, Miss, miss, please, this is US business, and he put his hand on my shoulder to push me back. Other lawmen and rangers was swelling up around us. Dead? Cyrus said, and another fellow said, I don’t believe it. The butcher was crying. I think he was in shock, his eyes was so big. I brung him up steak, he was blubbing, so he got a last meal, and his room was unlocked and he was just laid out on the bed, dead as a doornail.

No, I said, no no no, and Sheriff Kidd said, Miss, if you will– but I went plumb crazy. I snapped my gun out so quick I hardly felt it. It was like a piece of me that found itself to my palm. I knocked his arm off me, hard. He stumbled down. A ranger tried to grab my weapon, but I spun and shot it from his hand. Shit! the ranger swore. Easy! Kidd said from the ground. Easy!

I saw Michael’s face suddenly in all the men that was closing around me. It’s fine, he was saying to the men, she’s my sister. To me, he shouted, Sophie! Calm down!

I wasn’t listening. I’m strong for a woman but I ain’t the strongest person in town, ain’t even the strongest amongst most of them gathered, but I felt like I got energy pouring through my blood right then. I shoved through all the men like they was a gaggle of children. The door to the back stairs of the butchery was open, and I raced up all the steps. They made a familiar thump as I went. At the end of the hall, I could see Aubrey’s door throwed open. My chest was crumpling in on itself. My eyes was going dark on the sides, and I finally staggered to his room.

I ain’t ever going to forget seeing him there. There was a whole mess of blood on the ground. It was in pools from where the other fellow had met his end. Blood was everywhere, and it soaked up in my boots and got on my knees went I bent down by the bed. I was drenched in it by the time I got my hands on his face. I was crying so hard it sounded like howling. Aubrey! I cried. He was still some warm to the touch but cooler than I remember him, and I couldn’t feel his heart or hear him breathe. His eyes was closed. He was still holding his gun, fingers stiff around it. I got on top of him and pressed my nose against his throat and tried kissing him but he didn’t do a thing. He just laid there. Goddamnit! I bawled, wake up, you got to get hung, you goddamn mudsill, and he was still as a ghost. His face was wet with tears and blood.

By now the Sheriff and Michael and some other fellows had got to the room, but they were walking around careful, like they didn’t want to disturb nothing. Sophie, Michael was saying, please. He put his hand out, but I shook my head and got my Dragoon out. I pointed it at all of them. Leave me! I shrieked. Get the fuck out of here!

They froze. Michael whispered, Sophie, you don’t– but I blew a hole in the ceiling. Dust rained down. Sheriff Kidd looked at me a long minute, then he said, Give her time.

They backed out while I kept my gun on them, then went to the hall, muttering, and I laid on Aubrey and sobbed, and sobbed, till I felt as rung out as a used rag. Finally there was a knock on the doorframe. Let me see, Doc Mathias said.

I sniffled, but I nodded him to come in. Doc Mathias walked around the mess. He got next to me, and picked up Aubrey’s hand. He felt for a pulse around the wrist. Well, Doc Mathias said.

Is he dead? Sheriff Kidd called from the hall.

He is, Doc Mathias called back. Clinically and medically.

Michael and the Sheriff said something to each other. I heard their footsteps down the stairs. Doc Mathias took out a journal and a little black case, and started pulling out instruments. Some of the rangers had stayed behind in the hallway to mull. I ain’t had a disappoint this bad since the whorehouse in Santa Anna, one of the men said, and they all laughed. I wanted to string this clodhopper up. Look good on my record.

I got up off the bed and walked out to the hall. What did you say? I asked, and the man looked at me, real pitying, like I was a useless wrought woman. I said I was disappointed by this, he said. I got a mind to string him up.

Hobble your lip, I said. My voice wavered but it was because I couldn’t hardly speak. I was so worked. I don’t warn twice, I added. Turn round and hightail out of here.

The man’s eyes got wide, but then he chuckled. Was he your john? the man said. Don’t fuss yourself. There’s other work to be had. Then he looked at his own pants and back at me, and let out a huge laugh. The other men round him sniggered too.

I whipped out my gun, and swung it solid between his legs. The metal handle connected right to his manhood. He didn’t even utter a word, his eyes just popped and he fell to his knees, then curled on the ground. I climbed on top of him and begun to beat him with my fists. I felt scared and rushed and I never wanted to ruin something as bad as I wanted to ruin that fellow’s face. The other men came at me and tried to pry me off, and one held me to the railing while another landed a blow to my cheek. The first one was still on the ground and ain’t moving. I bit and clawed and scratched, swinging my fists wild, and we fought like kilkenny cats. Even the three of them was having a hard time controlling me. Men! Doc Mathias shouted, coming from the room. He pulled the largest fellow off. She’s the commissioner’s sister!

They finally let go of me and I pulled back, breathing hard, bleeding from my mouth and nose. I think my cheek was busted up, broke maybe. Mathias looked at me and sighed.

She tore up Martin! one of the men groused. I reckon Martin was the one who got a gun to his manhood. He was whimpering but still ain’t moved.

Get out, the doc said. And tell your sheriff I’ll bring the body down for transport.

Doc Mathias waited till the other three cleared down the stairs, grumbling and hobbled. He looked at me. Will you survive? he asked, and I nodded once. I wiped my bleeding mouth on my shirt sleeve. Mathias walked over to Martin, and gave him a nudge with his foot. He’ll survive, too, Mathias said. I’ll leave opium.

Aubrey was too big for Mathias to move on his lonesome, so I helped. If there is a thing worse than seeing your best friend laid out and dead, it is carrying the weight of his body. I felt furious at Aubrey for doing this to me, all the same. Everything in me was so confused but strong, too, like each feeling was powerful by itself. He ate too damned much, I said. He must be six hundred pounds.

He’s a bear of a man, Mathias agreed.

Where we bringing him? I asked.

Doc Mathias said, We’re putting him on a train to Hopkins. There’s a marshal there expecting him.

Expecting his body?

To be photographed and such. A wagon transport’s been ready for a day now. They planned to use it after the hanging, but it will still be handy.

I stared at Aubrey’s cleft chin, then his eyelashes. I was holding him by the shoulders. He had a nice face, I said. Nobody ever knewed what a nice face it was. Nobody ever wrote about that.

Doc Mathias said, Let’s rest on the landing. I need to get my breath.

We set Aubrey on the stair landing halfway and Doc Mathias acted like his chest pained him, so I walked over to see how he was. He nodded me closer. They’re watching, he whispered. Don’t turn your head. Keep staring at me. Act upset.

I didn’t know what was happening, but I was upset, so I didn’t need to act much. I let some tears go out. Nod, Mathias said, so I nodded up and down. I know, I know, Mathias said loudly. I’ll see what I can do.

What’s happening? I asked quietly.

You couldn’t be a better distraction if you were hired, Mathias said, low-voiced again and impressed. He didn’t want me to tell you till after. I worried that it was the wrong choice, but I reckon he knew you best.

I swallowed. Then I looked out the open door at the bottom of the stairs. All that I could see was the boots of what looked like a hundred lawmen and reporters. Please! Mathias said louder. Control yourself, ma’am!

Is Aubrey dead? I said.

Oh, yes, for now, Mathias said. He was talking soft but calm. Or at least an excellent imitation. I gave him the anecdote while you were giving everyone jessy out in the hall. Mathias nudged Aubrey’s legs with his foot. He’ll be sore when he wakes up, Mathias said, but I expect he will. Six to eight hours.

I didn’t even know what to say. I felt like I was in the most baffling dream of my life. Mathias reached in his pocket. Your ticket, he said.

What?

On his train, Mathias said. Keep up. Focus. He pushed the ticket into my hand and closed my red-splashed fingers around it. His voice was hardly above breathing. Rifles on your person, he murmured, horses in the box cars. His body will be in a guarded coach in the back. Wait by the coach about a half hour after noon. He paused. By the coach, he said. Do not be near the front.

I don’t understand, I said, but Mathias said, You will.

Why are you helping him?

Why not? Mathias said. I find him interesting, and he pays well. Although, Mathias added, kicking at Aubrey’s leg again, he owes me twenty-two dollars, which I expect get from you once this is done. When I stared more, thunderstruck, he announced, Let’s go. Time’s wasting.

So we moved Aubrey’s body out and onto the transport wagon, and I paid Mathias his bills. I told him to look in on Joe while I was gone. Mathias nodded and went back to his clinic. The transport disappeared down the main street. The sunny world outside seemed even more wrong and strange, with the markets going back to selling and the smell of manure all over and women with screaming babes strapped to their fronts. Theodore saw me. Oh, my gracious, Sophie, he gasped. He hurried over. The woman with the purple feather hat stayed behind, clutching her pearl necklace at my face. What happened? he said. Did they beat you for being his fiancee?

No, I said. I beat them for angering me.

You look horrible, Theodore said. He sounded proud.

I know, I said. The pain was coming to me now. First when it had all happened, I was so worked about Aubrey being dead I ain’t felt a thing, but now that I didn’t know what was happening, my lips and eyes was full on sore. I groaned when Theodore touched my cheek. It’s purple, he said.

It hurts, I said.

I imagine, Theodore answered. How are you? Are you heartsick?

Yes.

I can’t believe it. I never thought he’d be taken down. Theodore looked up at the butchery. All that steak, Theodore said. It must of killed him. Such a stupid way to go, really.

I got to leave, I said.

Theodore nodded. He looked like he wanted to do something, but he weren’t sure what. So finally he just reached out and patted my head with his soft hand. Write if you need me, he said.

I said, I’ll keep in touch.

I walked over, expecting to get to Hemene, but Pop and Michael was standing by the horses. As soon as Pop saw me get close, he turned livid. You shot your own brother? Pop bellowed.

She didn’t shoot at me, Michael was explaining. She was getting attention.

And you swore! Pop said. Where did you learn that filth? I know we don’t teach that filth in our home!

Pop, I said. My voice sounded like someone else’s. It was hard as a stone. Move, I said. I need my horse.

Don’t you disrespect me, Pop said just as hard. His silver hair was almost pure white, but he was still strong as a ox. Seeing him next to Michael, I knew how my brother would look in another forty years. Your sister, he said, was raised to be a lady. I don’t know where your Mama went wrong with you. Running with these lowlifes and cussing your own family!

Michael said, Pop. She’s had a rough day.

I stared my Pop down. He stared back. Move, I said.

Where are you headed? he said. You left your husband. You left your farm. Your sister’s widowed, and your brother is sick, and you’re leaving now, too? That all you know how to do? His voice raised. What went wrong with you, girl?

My lungs squeezed. I fought tears. Then I said, You don’t judge me.

I will judge you all the livelong day, he said. You need it.

You ain’t earnt the right to judge anyone, I said. Your bed ain’t even cooled from Mama before you warmed it with a new woman. Your son is laid up and you haven’t visited him once. He might as well be dead to you since he was lame. And your precious Margaux is keeping with a man in dark alleys and leaving her babies to starve, and I wonder what you done to her that makes her believe she ain’t nothing without a fellow and wordly goods. The only good thing you put on this earth is standing next to you, so I wonder if he ain’t a fluke. I looked at Michael. For all I know, he ain’t even yours, I said to Pop. Michael flushed.

Pop squeezed his jaw so tight I could see it under his skin. Move, I said to him.

Pop pulled his hand back and hit me. He never raised a hand to me before, and he picked a poor day to start, since he got me right in my broke cheek. It made my eyes go white with pain. I tripped back, holding a palm to my sore face. You ain’t mine, he growled.

I blinked. I was still reeling. What?

Michael warned, Don’t say things in anger, Pop. He put a hand out toward me and steadied me with his fingers.

Pop said, It’s the truth. She ain’t mine. She never was.

What are you on? I said. Me and Margaux is twins.

No, he said. Your ma found you the day before she gave birth. She wouldn’t give you up.

Michael’s face was as dumbfounded as mine. That’s not true, he said.

It is, Pop said. I promised your Mama I wouldn’t tell. Pop exhaled. God rest her soul, he said.

Found me where? I said.

I don’t know, he said. Took that to her grave.

Michael said, That’s a horrible lie. His eyes welled up. That’s a horrible lie, he repeated, glaring at Pop. His fingers tightened on my shoulder. Sophie is my sister, he said louder.

Believe what you want, Pop said. Then he looked at me and said, nasty as a snake, Do what you want. I don’t give countenance to it anymore.

Pop walked off and I stood there a spell, feeling like the whole world was uncertain below my feet. Don’t listen to him, Michael was saying. He’s old and he’s losing his mind. I touched my nose. It was leaking blood now too. It don’t matter, I said.

I walked past him and got on Hemene. Unhitch that one, I said to Michael. Michael got Heinmot undone and handed me the reins. Where are you going? he asked, gentle.

I don’t know, I said.

You coming back soon? he said.

I don’t know, I said.

Michael nodded. He looked up at me. I’ll miss you, he said.

I’ll miss you, I said. I swallowed. Take care of your kids, I said, and that woman. You be happy. I want you to be happy.

Michael sniffed, rubbing at his eyes. I will be, he said. Then he nodded again. You are my sister, he said. Know that. And you can always come home.

I trotted closer and leaned down and kissed him on the head. He hugged me close a spell. Then I said, It’s hurting leaning off the horse like this, so he half-laughed and let me go. Be safe, he said.

Be safe, I said. I led Heinmot through the town. We had to go past the Sheriff and the jail, and all the men out there who hollered as I passed, and beyond the opium dens and the theater and the Piedmont on the water, past the barber shop, the saloon, the tannery, the livery, and finally into the untamed wild that was blossoming in the spring.

-

We rode twenty-nine miles to the train station, where I got the horses tied down in a car and all my bags and person onboard. I got a seat by the window in a long car full of them. It was where the commoners sat, according to Theodore. I stared at my brown face and my busted mouth and short hair in the window as the train set off. I don’t know how I ever figured myself for a match to Margaux. We weren’t a thing alike. Not any how.

I didn’t feel sad anymore. It was just blank inside.

A older girl sat down beside me, about sixteen or seventeen. She stared at my face. Then she went into her bag. She held out a hankie. You’re bleeding, she said.

I’m fine, I said.

There’s a safe house for abused women, she said. It just opened in Jackson. I have a card.

I ain’t abused, I said. I pulled away from her on the seat.

Oh, she said. She had red hair. It was done up in a bun on top of her head, and her nose was long with freckles. I’m sorry, she said. I was only trying to help.

I looked out the window more.

After we’d gone through some more plains, I asked, What time is it?

She took out a tiny watch. A quarter past eleven, she said.

Will you tell me when it’s twelve thirty? I asked.

The girl nodded.

I sighed and stretched out. My sides was aching. The girl took out a book. The Heir of Radclyffe, it said on the cover. I read that, I said to her.

Oh? she said. Is it good?

It’s fine, I said. You’ll like it.

She laughed. Her mouth stayed open, like she didn’t know if I was going to say more and she got to keep talking, but when I didn’t go on, she went back to her book. I rubbed my hands on my pants to get the blood off. I was scrubbing them a minute when the girl offered me the hankie again. I wet it with some of my water, she said. Let me see. I gave her my hand and she began to wipe off the blood, careful as can be. That’s a pretty ring, she said.

I had forgot I was wearing it. I looked at it. It shone bright silver. It is, I said.

When are you getting married? she asked.

I shrugged. She glanced up at my face, then went back to cleaning my hand. The other one, she said. I gave her the other.

Can I do your face? she asked.

I nodded. She dabbed the hankie in more water from her canteen, and began to clean off my forehead and cheeks. There, she said. She blotted my mouth, pushing my lips open so she could scrub the red from my teeth. Much better, she murmured. Then she smiled. What’s your name?

Sophie, I said. Sophie Wilde.

I’m Emily Burgess, she answered.

I tried to smile back, but it hurt a awful lot. Sorry I ruint your hankie, I said.

It’s fine, she said. I have plenty. Emily leaned back in her seat. Are you traveling alone? she asked.

Right now, I said, yes.

What are you doing in McCully?

McCully? I said, and she said, That’s where this train ends. It’s just past Shiloh. I’m teaching there. When I didn’t answer, she kept talking, First to ninth grades. I expect some of the students will be bigger than me. I’m a little nervous.

I finally said, Shiloh?

Yes, Emily said. I think that’s what it’s called. It’s a rough camp. Drunkards and gamblers, I’ve heard.

This train goes by Shiloh?

It goes about twenty miles outside of it.

Emily was looking at my face. She said, Do you know the area?

Yes, I said. I’m familiar.

Here I am complaining about rowdy boys, she said, and you’ve been there and back. I’m embarrassed. Her temples went pink like she was, but her eyes sparkled. Is your man waiting for you? she asked.

He’s indisposed, I said.

I don’t have a man waiting for me, she said.

You’re young, I said. You’ll find someone.

Emily said, I guess so.

We rode another twenty minutes or so. The conductor came up and down the aisle and checked our tickets. There wasn’t a large group on our train. One was a family with six kids, and then there was four other couples. I felt Emily’s fingers touching mine. I looked down at them, then at her. She was staring at me. What? I said.

Emily didn’t answer. I could see her chest moving up and down slow.

I ignored her and looked out the window some more. I felt her fingers creep more on my hand. I would have stopped her, but it was the nicest touch I’d had all day, even in a couple weeks, so I didn’t do nothing. I figured she’d quit. I only had another half hour to wait, I reckoned.

She inched closer. I was thinking bout not having a family, and I felt some lost and some free. Are you hurt anywhere else? she whispered.

No, I said.

I’ve had some nursing, she said. I could tend you.

I’m not hurt, I said.

Her hand went to my leg, which made me wince. It took all I got not to swear. There, she whispered, real soothing. Let me try.

I felt like I was going to cry again, but I nodded anyhow. I just stared out the window. My Dragoons were heavy against my heart. I thought of Aubrey in the back, laid out, how his body had felt under mine. Emily’s palm moved up my thigh. She was looking at the family, and then at my mouth. I just let her pet me. I wondered if I was the same girl I was born as, or if people is shaped and changed by the times and the things that happened to them. My throat felt hot. Nobody on the train noticed us.

What time is it? I asked.

What?

What time is it? I said. I turned to look at her, her fair skin, her freckles, the way her eyes were so needing. I don’t know, she said. Just relax. We’ll be there soon.

Don’t, I said. I took her hand away. She had crept it almost between my legs, and it was a hard maneuver back to her own lap. Do you want to tell me the time or not?

I thought we… she said. But then she bit her lip. I’ll check, she said. I saw her take the watch back out. Twelve ten, she said.

I nodded. Excuse me, I said. I picked up my bags and my rifles, and squeezed past her. Good luck with teaching, I said when I was in the aisle.

Do you have a calling card? she asked.

What?

A card? she said. With your name and information? So that we can call on each other. Emily looked up at me, earnest.

Emily Burgess in McCully, I said. I’ll remember.

She watched me walk away. I could feel her eyes on the back of my head. It was harder moving on a fast train than I expected. It rumbled and trembled under my legs, and I had to jump a whole foot between the cars. It took a dreadful long time just to make it to the rear coach, but finally I saw a guard in front of a door with a tiny glass window. Ma’am, the guard said.

That where you’re keeping Grange? I asked.

I’m transporting the corpse of a wanted man, he said. If that’s what you’re referring to.

I guess I am, I said. Mind if I take a seat?

There’s seating in the passenger coach, he said.

I guess that’s true, I said. I like being near lawmen, though.

The guard looked at my cracked lip. Who are you? he said, but his gun was already drawn. Nobody, I said, I swear. I put my hands up like I was surrendering, and set my pistol on the nearest seat. The guard relaxed. I apologize, he said. You have to be careful in this job.

Truthfully, I said, I just hoped to see the body. I got a curiosity about it.

Why?

Well, I said, ain’t he famous?

I suppose, the guard said.

I never seen a famous person, I said. Dead or alive.

The guard frowned, but he said, I reckon it couldn’t hurt. You only got one minute, though, and nothing that would get me in trouble. He took out his keys. I watched him fumble round for the right one, then he turned it in the lock and slid it open. The bed was empty.

Is he supposed to be there? I asked.

What in blazes? the guard wondered, and then, quick as a snake, I saw two hands come up around his neck from inside the room. The hands jerked him away out of view. I was still waiting, armed and ready. Then Aubrey ambled into the doorway.

Seeing him alive broke me in half. I never been so reliefed and so damned wrathy at the same time. He looked a little worse for the wear, specially being covered in blood, but when he walked out of the room, it was the same gait I knew. Aubrey stretched and cracked his neck. Then he put his hand out. Kentucky flintlock? he said. Was they sold out of everything else?

I threw the rifle at him and he caught it. Yes, I said. They was sold out of everything else.

Goddamned army running through, taking all the good firearms, he said. Aubrey cocked his gun. It’ll do, he said. Go and grab a seat.

Why?

Track is out, he said. In about a mile. Them brakes will toss you.

I didn’t even have energy to question. The nearest chair was bolted to the floor, so I gripped the edge of it. Aubrey came up behind me and pressed hisself against my back, pinning me against the chair. His whiskers tickled my neck. Sorry, he said, low.

I don’t want to hear it, I said. And I don’t forgive you.

We’ll jaw it over, he said.

No, we won’t.

Aubrey pushed against me more. What happened to your face?

Three lawmen.

I Dad. You gave bad as you got?

Well, one of them fellows won’t walk right for a year.

There was a hard squeal, and we jerked forward. Aubrey’s full weight hit me and his pistol bore into my ribs. It was like being crushed in a vice. The brakes shrilled underfoot. The train was skidding along the tracks, trying to stop. That sound was near as bad as being bucked.

Finally the whole car shuddered to a halt, and the noise ended, and the pressure on my back eased. It was quiet in the world. I could hardly hear us breathing. Outside the window was sunlit dust motes that had been kicked up in the fray.

Aubrey let go of the seat and straightened up, so I stood up too. He took a minute to fix his necktie. It was the strangest act of the whole day to me. Nobody going to notice a dead fellow’s necktie.

Get our horses, he said. I’ll meet you by the conductor.

I don’t forgive you, I said.

Fine, he said. Get the goddamned horses anyhow.

I went to the back car and crawled around careful, worried I would burn myself on the metal. Everything was steaming with the midday heat. I let the horses free. They were spooked by the motion and noise, and it was hard to control them. It took me fifteen minutes to wrangle them. I worried Aubrey would be waiting for me on the train, but when I got to the conductor, he weren’t even done yet. When I waited, I looked off at the tracks. We was almost to the quarry where me and Aubrey had camped out. I hardly recognized it. Someone must have set off a explosion in the center beams of the bridge, because it was blown clear away.

I heard a whistle. Aubrey was waiting on the train, so I pulled Heinmot up and he mounted easy. H’yup, he called, and Heinmot dashed off. I had to break Hemene into a run to catch up.

-

Nobody chased us. We just galloped all the way to a village called Sounder Mill, which only had one store and a post and eight houses. There wasn’t a inn but one of the women had a open room to rent, so Aubrey told her a story bout us being attacked by Injuns earlier that day while we was honeymooning, and she felt so bad she brought up apple bread and wine while we relaxed. Aubrey got unshucked after eating, and he kept on talking. He talked more than I think I ever heard him speak in his whole life. He had come up with that plan four months ago, he said, and told Doc Mathias and Felix bout it, so when he got cornered in the butchery, he didn’t fret a bit. He enjoyed hisself eating steak and reading books, and then when he knew they aimed to hang him, truly, he plotted his death. Felix got word from Cyrus bout the hanging, picked the first train that morning, and blew the tracks. Aubrey had to kill hisself round sunup to be on it. They carried me out, he said, pleased. Lawmen took me out like a package.

No, I said. I got to carry you out. And you are heavy as sin.

Let me take my win, Aubrey said. He chucked my knee. I was sitting across from him in a armchair, listening. Fine, I grumbled. Go on.

I had the herb already to put me cold, he said. I had saved it in a bullet case. It tasted like fice but I reckon you got to make do. Worked fast, too.

The reporters seen your body, I said.

There were reporters?

Street full, I said.

Good, he said. When I come back, they can say I’m first outlaw to escape death as well as jail, and they got the proof of their own eyes. He yawned and stretched. Finest shirk that ever was, he said. Be proud you was a part of it.

But I wasn’t a part of it. I was duped same as them. When I said that, Aubrey said I couldn’t know or I wouldn’t act how I did, and he kept on like he was doing me a favor by cutting me out. I let him talk and I let him undo my blouse and wrap my ribs, and I even let him kiss my belly and my bosoms and have his way with me, but that whole time I was looking at his face and wondering if we was ever going to be partners; real true partners like I wanted. His eyes changed as he moved in me. Dark to muddy. Muddy to gold. We’re going to buy us a big house, he breathed, his hips against mine, and a stable full of horses. You pick what you want. You have what you like. His hands was wrapped in my short hair. When he got speed going, his fists tightened, and they tugged against my skull.

I couldn’t get away from my thoughts and my hurt, even in laying, so Aubrey got his satisfaction after a spell but I didn’t have any. He curled up behind me in bed afterward and I felt him against me, strong, hot, his furry chest against my spine. He threw a arm over us and I stared at his hand. His gun was still in it.

Where you want to go? he murmured.

I don’t know, I said.

I hear New York’s fine.

I reckon.

Aubrey yawned. You got your ring, he said. You got your coin. You got the open country and you don’t belong to nobody. He kissed my shoulder. Everything you ever wanted, he said. You must be pleased.

I stared at the wall and watched the moonlight move across it. The country was quiet compared to the city and there wasn’t a single noise outside but a far loon. When Aubrey drifted off, I opened up his hand and took his pistol, and spun the chamber round, watching the bullets flash by. I guess he was right about one thing, though. I don’t belong to nobody anymore.